Buying the ticket to London

Why is there a point in every relationship when you come to a realization that you may be in the best thing in your life but in order to stay with that person you have to sacrifice a lot of yourself?  Unfortunately, this has happened upon me more times than I would like to admit.  Having a penchant for foreigners will do that to you.  After being with an Italian for 3 years, she finally decided to move back to Europe and took a job in London, England.  This was at a time in my life when I didn't know what I wanted.  I knew that I loved her more than anything in the world.  I knew that she was the person I wanted to grow old with...I just didn't know if I was ready to start growing old.  She hounded me for months to marry her, to have a baby, to build a life together.  I kept resisting being honest with her.  Fear of what was ahead kept me from committing.  Finally, the day had come when she had moved and I was on expedia planning my flight to be with her.  I made all the clicks, planned the date, and arrived at the purchase screen.  I wanted so bad to click the button which would solidify my life.  Give me stability, a future, a wonderful girl...  But I just couldn't do it.  I quickly scoured the screen for the "x" in the upper-right hand corner and closed the page.  The moment I did it I wanted to go back.  I wanted to complete the purchase and fly into her arms.  But I couldn't.  I knew that the moment was gone and that I had made a choice which I could never go back from.  I hadn't bought the ticket to London because of my insecurity and because of fear of the road ahead.  I have regretted to this day that one moment in time.  My selfishness that ended up hurting someone I loved more than the world.  On that note I urge you dear readers (all 3 of you), the next time you get the chance, buy the ticket.  Don't think about it.  You can always often undo mistakes but you don't often get a second chance to make them.